The ZIPPER and the ZAPPER - Don't Get Burned in Love, Sex and Lasting Relationships

When it comes to love, sex and lasting relationships, what do Bug Zappers show us? You may be surprised!

Ah, the crisp, fresh, gentle night air.

How well I remember those childhood nights of running across grassy meadows chasing lightening bugs.

Inevitably, I couldn't stop those nightly interruptions to my playful solitude.

BZZZZZZZZZZ - ZZZZZZAAAAAAAAPPP!

Followed again by,

BZZZZZZZZZZ - ZZZZZZAAAAAAAAPPP!

Smoke, a little flame, the aroma of fried bugs filtering through the air -I remember asking myself, "Why don't they just stop flying into those crazy things?"

You ever spend any time watching those Bug Zappers with ultraviolet lights that bugs just can't resist?

Do you know that when it comes to the body, sex and lasting relationships, they speak volumes?

I was again reminded of all this while watching the movie, "A Bug's Life" with my, then, four-year old. You may remember the scene. There's a camping trailer in the distance with a light on the front porch as two bugs fly in the night, conversing in dialogue.

Bug 1 alarmingly screams at Bug 2,"Larry, no! Don't look at the light!"

Bug 2 states in slow motion, "I c-a-n'-t h-e-l-p i-t, i-t'-s j-u-s-t s-o b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l."

ZZZZZZAAAAAAAAPPP!

I did some research on Bug Zappers. Care to know what I found out?

A Bug Zapper, more formally known as an electronic insect-control system, lures bugs into it and kills them with electricity. They have fluorescent light bulbs, usually of mercury, neon or ultraviolet (black light). Two wire meshes surround the light bulb and are electrified with a transformer to kill the insects.

It works because many insects see ultraviolet light better than visible light. They are more attracted to it, because the flower patterns that attract insects are revealed in ultraviolet light.

Isn't that interesting?

The Zapper appeals to a bug's natural instinct and appetite, makes them feel that wrong is right, and then lures the bug into pain and misery by a fire that burns instead of a fire that warms.

Where am I going with this?

We do not talk about it much these days, but when it comes to the body, love, sex and lasting relationships, there is a fire that warms and a fire that burns. Just like the bug being lured to the Zapper, many are being lured by their natural instincts, confused by the misinformation that abounds, and then burned by the heat. There are many people that have not learned to control the zipper, and just like bugs, are getting burned by the zapper.

You see, when it comes to love, sex, and lasting relationships, you need to know some things:

• You are being seduced by an over-emphasis on the bedroom and the body

• The heart longs to be wanted for a lifetime of nights and not just a night of a lifetime

• Being full-of-brandy, eye candy and toys-for-boys is not where women get their value

• When it comes to the body and relationships, "tuning in" will rock your world far more than "turning on" every time

• You can chase desire if you wish, but the real longing of the heart is for love, companionship, oneness and intimacy

• Living for the moment can cause you to miss the lifetime

• The current trend of making sex more about recreation than relationship leaves you wanting

• There is more to your body and sex than downloading 3 x 5 images into computer screens, marketed images in glossy pages of magazines, "Girls Gone Wild" videos and "Spring Break" parties

• You are DESIGNED FOR DESIRE, but you also DESIRE FOR DESIGN

Without naming names, recent history has shown us many people of fame and notoriety who have gotten zzzzzzzzzaaappped. Maybe reading this will help you not be among them.

If you can get a grasp on these things, you will be on your way to better relationships and better sex. But if you are blind to these things, you could be next in line to be burned by the heat.

After all, When we learn to control the zipper, we have better control of the zapper.

By Stanley Leffew

Stanley J. Leffew is the Author of, "How To Be Wanted For a Lifetime of Nights and Not Just a Night of a Lifetime" Find out why you are DESIGNED FOR DESIRE, but you also DESIRE FOR DESIGN and why so many are living for the moment but missing the lifetime at http://advice-for-lifetime-relationships.com/lasting-relationships.html

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If You Think You Have Met the Man of Your Dreams Use the Best People Finder to Check Him Out

Ah, new love, it really does make you feel as if you are on cloud nine. It is a beautiful feeling, but is true love really blind? The sad thing is that bad things happen to millions of women who do not use simple tools like people finders to help to find out the truth of the matter. Sadly, many of these women who fail to use people finders find out the man of their dreams is really a nightmare.
What would you do if you found out that this dream man was married? Many women think no way that could not be. This is something no woman wants to think about when she is head over heels in a new relationship. But as females, it's something we need to consider. Methods exist for finding out if your man is who and what he claims to be. Lots of different sorts of people finders website are out there so you can find out the true facts.

A name is all that is necessary on the best people finder sites. When you first meet someone you are not going to have access to their life history and other information that is required to find out if someone has been married. The best people finder websites are so easy that with just a small piece of info you can find everything you need to know about the man of your dreams.

There are all sorts of valuable information on the people finders sites which you can access very quickly. Including in the two are marriage certificates and divorce certificates. This way you can find out if he is telling the truth. These services give you, among other things, access to criminal and civil court records. And so, if he was been involved in some questionable things in the past, you really want to know about it.

No one wants the uncertainty of not knowing if the person they have come to care about is telling the truth or lying. The last thing anyone would want is to become attached to someone then find out they are living a double life. That is why it is so important to use the best people finder available to find out the truth before things get to serious. If you really want to protect yourself you need to know the truth about other women who may be in your man's life. A precaution you can use to avoid trusting and loving someone who doesn't deserve it. Now, when your new sweetheart tells you their divorce is final, you can know, for sure, if they're telling the truth.

By Mike Hickmon

The author has created a review site that provides you with the most in-depth analysis of the best people finder sites on the Internet
Please go to: http://www.Record-Detective.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mike_Hickmon

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Relationship Advice Men Can Count On

I am a happy man so I feel comfortable giving relationship advice men can count on. Men experience significant changes in life on the road to greater relationships, responsibility, and maturity. We learn that powerful emotions exist beyond the bedroom. With hearts like ancient warriors, men drunk on bravado and independence had yet to earn their sensitive stripes. Men know power, prestige, and authority - not tenderness, compassion, and "humble pie". As we get older, the things that bring tears to our eyes become the ones that help us grow.

A Word on Commitment

Commitment means more than "showing up" for a relationship. It means being there when it matters most, when times are tough and your partner needs a reassuring hug or a kind word of encouragement. It means building bridges to a greater sense of security, counting on that person to be around for more than just physical affection. This is where lovers become friends, the opposite of what we might expect. Do not discount the power of simple conversation to make people feel more connected, more secure, more in tune with you.

Personal Space

Personal space is a huge issue for people in relationships. As a man, you will want yours, so you need to respect that she also needs hers. Your partner may have friends and family she has relied on for emotional support, relationship advice, and companionship. These are people she has known for years. They are a part of who she is, and a mutual respect of this social breathing room will cement a sense of appreciation between you. Respect not only her, but also the people, places, and things that make her who she is.

Interests and Hobbies

Interests and hobbies play a part in successful relationships. The two of you may not have many, but they can be very different from each other. For example, your idea of relaxing may be to watch the game on TV, while her idea of a relaxing time is taking the dog on a nature walk. You may like loud music, while she prefers a quiet evening with a good book. She may be the kind of person who likes the arts, while you could care less about musicals and plays. You need to recognize that both of your interests and hobbies are important. In a successful relationship, you must learn the art of dancing through conflict and compromise, not fighting through it. You must find common ground and learn to appreciate something about the things you are not really into. The benefits of having a happy significant other are worth trying something different. You may find that you like it.

Final Word

In a nutshell, this is relationship advice men can count on:

Be patient. with yourself and with her. Love and happiness is like a gravel road - the more you tread its surface, the smoother it becomes.

Look for signals . Pay attention to visual clues, body language, not what she says, but how she says it. You will soon gain an intuition as to how she is feeling, and what you can do to either turn it around or let it shine like the sun.

Learn to let go. Do not smother her or try to force your way as the only way. Growing into each other is the slow and steady course to staying together.

Money is not everything. Money is just the most common point of contention in a relationship... Where it comes from, where it goes, why is there not enough. Despite the rumor, money cannot fix relationships so do not expect it to.

Little things mean a lot. It does not have to be a diamond ring. A card, a flower, a kiss, a bit of free verse, a special trip on the way home. If you are creative, you can bring her closer than ever before.

Monte Jamison, Founder
PickMySpouse
CommonSenseNation

© 2009

By Monte Jamison

I am a happy man and I will give you relationship advice men can count on. Men and women are totally different and need a different approach to relationship advice. Read my relationship book and gain an insight on how to achieve lasting successful relationships. I will show you who you are, why you act the way you do, and how to fill your life with people who make you a better man. Visit my website, read my book, and get the relationship advice you need to make you a better and happier man

Visit my Ezine bio page and visit my websites PickMySpouse and CommonSenseNation. Join the CommonSenseNation with a free membership and get connected with others who believe in common sense

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Monte_Jamison

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Romance Tips to Win Her Heart

Most of us value a little romance in our lives. Love without romance is like an unfinished Symphony; it's beautiful but somehow you feel something is missing. In order to truly appreciate how to create the magic of romance, we need to appreciate the subtle chemistry involved in making a connection with someone that may lead to a romantic opportunity.

In today's world it is often difficult to meet someone to be romantic with. However it is certainly worth the effort and a few well-placed romantic tips can be a great help.

Patience is a Virtue

To make a good impression with romantic gestures, it is helpful to have an insight into the romantic desires of your partner. This may take a little time, a little subtle research and a degree of sensitivity. It is true that communication is the gateway to a healthy relationship, for without it you have no idea of your partners view of the world or what they would like to get out of the relationship. Of course this level of intimacy in conversation can sometimes be a little tricky to start with, so it's best to take one's time and let it happen naturally. There is a natural flow to development of romance which cannot be hurried or forced.

Romance and love are vital ingredients to any intimate relationship. Indeed, without them, we are really just going through the motions. Although, romance and love usually go together, sadly romance is often neglected when love has been established. This is quite common and can often be the source of distress or dissatisfaction between couples, especially for the female partner. True romance is all about considering the feelings of your partner and being responsive to his or her needs and desires. A lack of romance can often be interpreted as a lack of interest and desire.

Although there are traditional symbols of romantic love in our culture, like candles, chocolate and roses, these are really just tokens. Truly, the most important thing is to offer a sense of 'I treasure you' in your romantic gestures whatever they may be.

A romantic partner finds personalized ways to charm their lover. There are no formulas to follow in becoming a romantic, but there are many resources available that offer some great suggestions on what has worked for others. You can use these romance stories as inspiration in your own quest for romantic ideas and gestures. Oftentimes we limit our thinking when it comes to romance and go for the safe and traditional route. However it's the unexpected expression of intimacy from our partner or date that makes the greatest impact and often proves the most rewarding.

Monotony is a romance killer!. Getting out of a the rut of everyday routine and planning a special surprise romantic experience can be a great start. Maybe go up to the mountains for a spa weekend, or be impulsive and fly to a European city to attend an art exhibition for example, if you know that your partner would appreciate it.

However, romance can also be found in the simplest of things as long as you are sharing a heart to heart connection with your partner in the experience.

Intimacy is often broken down into "into me you see"... and that is the heart of the matter.

A final note to consider is that romance is not a spectator activity. Be a player, be creative, be sensitive and just dive in and enjoy the adventure. Your partner will love you for it.

By Bo Collins

If you are seeking some romantic inspiration and romance tips drop by the the True Romance Cafe

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bo_Collins

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How Honest Should We Be?

My grade school classmate Edwin has his Friendster shoutout like this: "Honesty does not always bring a response of love, but it is absolutely essential to it." This is very true, but how could love be expressed through honesty if we neglect our obligation to spare someone's feelings? How could honesty express concern if we only think of ourselves? How could someone have the faith if somebody has raw honesty?

I have heard a story about a man who admits to his loved one how he had wronged her. The man has been deceiving his wife all his life and decided one day to change his ways. The man seemed sincerely moved about his judgment and began to confess his unfaithfulness. His wife was aghast with his revelation and they started not to speak. A week after revealing to his wife that he has often committed adultery over the years, his wife went under the care of a psychoanalyst at a mental hospital. As a result of this tactless honesty everything about his life collapsed.

What can we take from this? Disclosing the truth may be healthy and most often will not harm anyone, but there are times a thoughtless honesty can be very devastating to a relationship. We must always remember that true honesty should not be delayed. It is just like an icicle; once it thaws that is the end of it. It becomes an old sin. Confession of old sins may free the burden of guilty conscience and may bring a self-upright feeling but it is comparable to throwing up on someone. It may make the confessor feels good but it does not do much for the recipient, it hurts to the bone. It is often times like a painkiller that gives a temporary sedation than a solution. Sometimes honesty can be very self-centered thing, some people use honesty as a way to thump people under the outfit of a good person.

I believe one should have to confess to God before anyone else and makes recompenses to the hurt party. A person has all the rights to be honest about his belief and intentions but he must not disregard his responsibilities not to offend anyone .It is not reasonable to liberate ones self just to get the load off the chest. Hardly ever ,people would think that lying is the best for any situation but clearly I realized that both telling a lie, and the truth has what it takes of causing harm. I also realized that honesty is not the highest value in the Christian life. It is not the best policy either. People may argue me about this but the highest values for me are love, faith, concern and the best policy is integrity. On my personal interpretation honesty and integrity have key distinctions.

Look what is happening to our politics now, everyone seems to have a piece of truth to say because of self interest and greed. This could happen to any sort of situation or relationship. How can honesty be admirable and commendable if we are not willing to gamble harm to ourselves? Sometimes the reason why people want to tell what they know is exactly to loosen their pain and shift onto somebody else or to attain their selfish motives. Integrity saves the feelings of others by counseling our secrets. It is conviction of a true honest man of what is right and wrong. Integrity is an unselfish virtue... There is evidently always a time to keep silent and say nothing. Even Jesus Christ at one point did not say to his 12 disciples the truths that were beyond their comprehensions. Jesus could have answered the truth to all the charges against him but he kept still and to Pilate's astonishment He just said . . ."no more."

The effort to say the un-embellished truth sometimes boomerang and may lead to a rocky path to a weakened or worst scenario - broken relationship. Though I believe that honesty does not glorify sin nor justify it, it is sometimes the cruelest game. You hurt someone as you seem to feel self righteous about at the same time. How honest should we be?

Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven, confess them to man and you will be laughed at.

By Jessie Landingin

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jessie_Landingin

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How to Keep a Girl Interested in You - Here Are the Remarkable Tricks Which Work Insanely Well

Girls are fickle minded; they often fail to understand whom they like and whom they don't like. Also they tend to lose their interest quite easily, which isn't a good sign for all you guys. So if you want a girl to take great interest in you, you need to be a real charmer; someone whom girls would always like to be with. Girls often find guys to be very interesting in the first few meetings and then they feel bored; that's their basic nature you see. Though even you guys don't like to stick to just one girl for life, but you like to be surrounded by them all the time, don't you?

Let's see how you can keep a girl interested in you, always.....

Limit Your Availability-

If you are available for your girl all the time, she'll not like you after a month. So try t say no to her even if you are not busy elsewhere. This will generate interest and curiosity as well. She'll be thinking what you are up to and whom you are with. These things can make you more and more interesting. After all, the lesser the better; girls cannot afford to take such guys for granted.

Have It Your Way-

Girls often nag and tend to have things the way they want. But you should also open your mouth instead of abiding by their commands. Do what you like and convince her to do the same as well. If she likes your way of life and entertainment she'll stick to you for long. Be unpredictable at times and she'll be even more interested in you. Guys who are predictable are very boring as well.

Keep Secrets-

While conversing with your girl, try to give interesting twists and turns and don't just speak about everything, keep some secrets to be told later. Keep secrets about your interests, your likings and about something which she would be interested.

By Rahul Talwar

Now listen carefully

What you are about to discover something most men will never know when it comes to attracting women. This is one thing which is an absolute must know for every man out there. You are about to discover an ultimate secret weapon which will make women chase you around like crazy Even If You Are Bald, Fat Or Ugly!.....Trust me....You don't want to miss this one. I strongly urge you to read everything on the next page because it might be the most important message you ever read Click Here

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Rahul_Talwar

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Jealousy Problems - Don't Let it Drive You Crazy

The emotion of jealousy is very addictive and powerful, so much so that it takes over a person's personality where it can literally destroy a love two people once had together. It is definitely not love, because love's main components are trust, hope, unconditional love as well as a physical, mental and spiritual connection that is very special. Love makes people feel cherished and happy, it does not bring people down.

So when do you classify a person as overly-possessive or jealous bordering on the paranoid? People who have a borderline or acute personality disorder, schizophrenia or bipolar disorder are mostly inclined to feel insecurity and over protectiveness. They exhibit overly dramatic, exaggerated and antisocial behavior and are not in complete command of their emotions.

In a normal and balanced relationship, healthy insecurity and over protectiveness can occur, so they are not a cause for too much concern. But if these traits invade a rational boundary, they inflict tension and place pressure on the partners in the relationship. A partner may turn into from a pleasant easy going person into a rude, controlling individual who can become abusive to the partner, physically or verbally.

How do I decide if my partner is too insecure too possessive that it just does not seem normal? Most people know that if their partner is constantly checking up on them either through numerous phone calls, texting, and so on there is something wrong. When your partner is with you they are constantly questioning you on your activities and where you spent the day.

In some examples, extreme jealousy is practiced through violence as in the case of jealous individuals who can easily express sexually or physically violent towards their partner. Any individual who is in this type of relationship should end the relationship immediately and seek a safe shelter away from the violent individual. No one should have to live in fear in a relationship that is full of jealousy and violence, and this type of relationship is not an expression of love.

If your partner is not violent but they are too possessive, try to discuss the root of the insecurity. Many times controlling behavior and over-possessiveness in a relationship are a learned reaction. Some parents or friends have lived this toxic form of existence, so jealousy feels like a normal and comfortable emotion to express.

If you can get through by communicating with your partner emphasize how important trust is for you in a relationship and that you view it as a sign of love. If this does not work, and your partner is still insecure try setting up an appointment with a relationship or family counselor. Hopefully your partner will want to please you, and work on your relationship to make it more secure and committed.

By Zach Johnsen

Zach Johnsen writes reviews about relationship problems. Read reviews of several step by step courses that explain to you now to revive a troubled relationship. You can make the choice on the best ebook to help save your relationship

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Zach_Johnsen

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