The ZIPPER and the ZAPPER - Don't Get Burned in Love, Sex and Lasting Relationships

When it comes to love, sex and lasting relationships, what do Bug Zappers show us? You may be surprised!

Ah, the crisp, fresh, gentle night air.

How well I remember those childhood nights of running across grassy meadows chasing lightening bugs.

Inevitably, I couldn't stop those nightly interruptions to my playful solitude.

BZZZZZZZZZZ - ZZZZZZAAAAAAAAPPP!

Followed again by,

BZZZZZZZZZZ - ZZZZZZAAAAAAAAPPP!

Smoke, a little flame, the aroma of fried bugs filtering through the air -I remember asking myself, "Why don't they just stop flying into those crazy things?"

You ever spend any time watching those Bug Zappers with ultraviolet lights that bugs just can't resist?

Do you know that when it comes to the body, sex and lasting relationships, they speak volumes?

I was again reminded of all this while watching the movie, "A Bug's Life" with my, then, four-year old. You may remember the scene. There's a camping trailer in the distance with a light on the front porch as two bugs fly in the night, conversing in dialogue.

Bug 1 alarmingly screams at Bug 2,"Larry, no! Don't look at the light!"

Bug 2 states in slow motion, "I c-a-n'-t h-e-l-p i-t, i-t'-s j-u-s-t s-o b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l."

ZZZZZZAAAAAAAAPPP!

I did some research on Bug Zappers. Care to know what I found out?

A Bug Zapper, more formally known as an electronic insect-control system, lures bugs into it and kills them with electricity. They have fluorescent light bulbs, usually of mercury, neon or ultraviolet (black light). Two wire meshes surround the light bulb and are electrified with a transformer to kill the insects.

It works because many insects see ultraviolet light better than visible light. They are more attracted to it, because the flower patterns that attract insects are revealed in ultraviolet light.

Isn't that interesting?

The Zapper appeals to a bug's natural instinct and appetite, makes them feel that wrong is right, and then lures the bug into pain and misery by a fire that burns instead of a fire that warms.

Where am I going with this?

We do not talk about it much these days, but when it comes to the body, love, sex and lasting relationships, there is a fire that warms and a fire that burns. Just like the bug being lured to the Zapper, many are being lured by their natural instincts, confused by the misinformation that abounds, and then burned by the heat. There are many people that have not learned to control the zipper, and just like bugs, are getting burned by the zapper.

You see, when it comes to love, sex, and lasting relationships, you need to know some things:

• You are being seduced by an over-emphasis on the bedroom and the body

• The heart longs to be wanted for a lifetime of nights and not just a night of a lifetime

• Being full-of-brandy, eye candy and toys-for-boys is not where women get their value

• When it comes to the body and relationships, "tuning in" will rock your world far more than "turning on" every time

• You can chase desire if you wish, but the real longing of the heart is for love, companionship, oneness and intimacy

• Living for the moment can cause you to miss the lifetime

• The current trend of making sex more about recreation than relationship leaves you wanting

• There is more to your body and sex than downloading 3 x 5 images into computer screens, marketed images in glossy pages of magazines, "Girls Gone Wild" videos and "Spring Break" parties

• You are DESIGNED FOR DESIRE, but you also DESIRE FOR DESIGN

Without naming names, recent history has shown us many people of fame and notoriety who have gotten zzzzzzzzzaaappped. Maybe reading this will help you not be among them.

If you can get a grasp on these things, you will be on your way to better relationships and better sex. But if you are blind to these things, you could be next in line to be burned by the heat.

After all, When we learn to control the zipper, we have better control of the zapper.

By Stanley Leffew

Stanley J. Leffew is the Author of, "How To Be Wanted For a Lifetime of Nights and Not Just a Night of a Lifetime" Find out why you are DESIGNED FOR DESIRE, but you also DESIRE FOR DESIGN and why so many are living for the moment but missing the lifetime at http://advice-for-lifetime-relationships.com/lasting-relationships.html

Read More..

If You Think You Have Met the Man of Your Dreams Use the Best People Finder to Check Him Out

Ah, new love, it really does make you feel as if you are on cloud nine. It is a beautiful feeling, but is true love really blind? The sad thing is that bad things happen to millions of women who do not use simple tools like people finders to help to find out the truth of the matter. Sadly, many of these women who fail to use people finders find out the man of their dreams is really a nightmare.
What would you do if you found out that this dream man was married? Many women think no way that could not be. This is something no woman wants to think about when she is head over heels in a new relationship. But as females, it's something we need to consider. Methods exist for finding out if your man is who and what he claims to be. Lots of different sorts of people finders website are out there so you can find out the true facts.

A name is all that is necessary on the best people finder sites. When you first meet someone you are not going to have access to their life history and other information that is required to find out if someone has been married. The best people finder websites are so easy that with just a small piece of info you can find everything you need to know about the man of your dreams.

There are all sorts of valuable information on the people finders sites which you can access very quickly. Including in the two are marriage certificates and divorce certificates. This way you can find out if he is telling the truth. These services give you, among other things, access to criminal and civil court records. And so, if he was been involved in some questionable things in the past, you really want to know about it.

No one wants the uncertainty of not knowing if the person they have come to care about is telling the truth or lying. The last thing anyone would want is to become attached to someone then find out they are living a double life. That is why it is so important to use the best people finder available to find out the truth before things get to serious. If you really want to protect yourself you need to know the truth about other women who may be in your man's life. A precaution you can use to avoid trusting and loving someone who doesn't deserve it. Now, when your new sweetheart tells you their divorce is final, you can know, for sure, if they're telling the truth.

By Mike Hickmon

The author has created a review site that provides you with the most in-depth analysis of the best people finder sites on the Internet
Please go to: http://www.Record-Detective.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mike_Hickmon

Read More..

Relationship Advice Men Can Count On

I am a happy man so I feel comfortable giving relationship advice men can count on. Men experience significant changes in life on the road to greater relationships, responsibility, and maturity. We learn that powerful emotions exist beyond the bedroom. With hearts like ancient warriors, men drunk on bravado and independence had yet to earn their sensitive stripes. Men know power, prestige, and authority - not tenderness, compassion, and "humble pie". As we get older, the things that bring tears to our eyes become the ones that help us grow.

A Word on Commitment

Commitment means more than "showing up" for a relationship. It means being there when it matters most, when times are tough and your partner needs a reassuring hug or a kind word of encouragement. It means building bridges to a greater sense of security, counting on that person to be around for more than just physical affection. This is where lovers become friends, the opposite of what we might expect. Do not discount the power of simple conversation to make people feel more connected, more secure, more in tune with you.

Personal Space

Personal space is a huge issue for people in relationships. As a man, you will want yours, so you need to respect that she also needs hers. Your partner may have friends and family she has relied on for emotional support, relationship advice, and companionship. These are people she has known for years. They are a part of who she is, and a mutual respect of this social breathing room will cement a sense of appreciation between you. Respect not only her, but also the people, places, and things that make her who she is.

Interests and Hobbies

Interests and hobbies play a part in successful relationships. The two of you may not have many, but they can be very different from each other. For example, your idea of relaxing may be to watch the game on TV, while her idea of a relaxing time is taking the dog on a nature walk. You may like loud music, while she prefers a quiet evening with a good book. She may be the kind of person who likes the arts, while you could care less about musicals and plays. You need to recognize that both of your interests and hobbies are important. In a successful relationship, you must learn the art of dancing through conflict and compromise, not fighting through it. You must find common ground and learn to appreciate something about the things you are not really into. The benefits of having a happy significant other are worth trying something different. You may find that you like it.

Final Word

In a nutshell, this is relationship advice men can count on:

Be patient. with yourself and with her. Love and happiness is like a gravel road - the more you tread its surface, the smoother it becomes.

Look for signals . Pay attention to visual clues, body language, not what she says, but how she says it. You will soon gain an intuition as to how she is feeling, and what you can do to either turn it around or let it shine like the sun.

Learn to let go. Do not smother her or try to force your way as the only way. Growing into each other is the slow and steady course to staying together.

Money is not everything. Money is just the most common point of contention in a relationship... Where it comes from, where it goes, why is there not enough. Despite the rumor, money cannot fix relationships so do not expect it to.

Little things mean a lot. It does not have to be a diamond ring. A card, a flower, a kiss, a bit of free verse, a special trip on the way home. If you are creative, you can bring her closer than ever before.

Monte Jamison, Founder
PickMySpouse
CommonSenseNation

© 2009

By Monte Jamison

I am a happy man and I will give you relationship advice men can count on. Men and women are totally different and need a different approach to relationship advice. Read my relationship book and gain an insight on how to achieve lasting successful relationships. I will show you who you are, why you act the way you do, and how to fill your life with people who make you a better man. Visit my website, read my book, and get the relationship advice you need to make you a better and happier man

Visit my Ezine bio page and visit my websites PickMySpouse and CommonSenseNation. Join the CommonSenseNation with a free membership and get connected with others who believe in common sense

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Monte_Jamison

Read More..

Romance Tips to Win Her Heart

Most of us value a little romance in our lives. Love without romance is like an unfinished Symphony; it's beautiful but somehow you feel something is missing. In order to truly appreciate how to create the magic of romance, we need to appreciate the subtle chemistry involved in making a connection with someone that may lead to a romantic opportunity.

In today's world it is often difficult to meet someone to be romantic with. However it is certainly worth the effort and a few well-placed romantic tips can be a great help.

Patience is a Virtue

To make a good impression with romantic gestures, it is helpful to have an insight into the romantic desires of your partner. This may take a little time, a little subtle research and a degree of sensitivity. It is true that communication is the gateway to a healthy relationship, for without it you have no idea of your partners view of the world or what they would like to get out of the relationship. Of course this level of intimacy in conversation can sometimes be a little tricky to start with, so it's best to take one's time and let it happen naturally. There is a natural flow to development of romance which cannot be hurried or forced.

Romance and love are vital ingredients to any intimate relationship. Indeed, without them, we are really just going through the motions. Although, romance and love usually go together, sadly romance is often neglected when love has been established. This is quite common and can often be the source of distress or dissatisfaction between couples, especially for the female partner. True romance is all about considering the feelings of your partner and being responsive to his or her needs and desires. A lack of romance can often be interpreted as a lack of interest and desire.

Although there are traditional symbols of romantic love in our culture, like candles, chocolate and roses, these are really just tokens. Truly, the most important thing is to offer a sense of 'I treasure you' in your romantic gestures whatever they may be.

A romantic partner finds personalized ways to charm their lover. There are no formulas to follow in becoming a romantic, but there are many resources available that offer some great suggestions on what has worked for others. You can use these romance stories as inspiration in your own quest for romantic ideas and gestures. Oftentimes we limit our thinking when it comes to romance and go for the safe and traditional route. However it's the unexpected expression of intimacy from our partner or date that makes the greatest impact and often proves the most rewarding.

Monotony is a romance killer!. Getting out of a the rut of everyday routine and planning a special surprise romantic experience can be a great start. Maybe go up to the mountains for a spa weekend, or be impulsive and fly to a European city to attend an art exhibition for example, if you know that your partner would appreciate it.

However, romance can also be found in the simplest of things as long as you are sharing a heart to heart connection with your partner in the experience.

Intimacy is often broken down into "into me you see"... and that is the heart of the matter.

A final note to consider is that romance is not a spectator activity. Be a player, be creative, be sensitive and just dive in and enjoy the adventure. Your partner will love you for it.

By Bo Collins

If you are seeking some romantic inspiration and romance tips drop by the the True Romance Cafe

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bo_Collins

Read More..

How Honest Should We Be?

My grade school classmate Edwin has his Friendster shoutout like this: "Honesty does not always bring a response of love, but it is absolutely essential to it." This is very true, but how could love be expressed through honesty if we neglect our obligation to spare someone's feelings? How could honesty express concern if we only think of ourselves? How could someone have the faith if somebody has raw honesty?

I have heard a story about a man who admits to his loved one how he had wronged her. The man has been deceiving his wife all his life and decided one day to change his ways. The man seemed sincerely moved about his judgment and began to confess his unfaithfulness. His wife was aghast with his revelation and they started not to speak. A week after revealing to his wife that he has often committed adultery over the years, his wife went under the care of a psychoanalyst at a mental hospital. As a result of this tactless honesty everything about his life collapsed.

What can we take from this? Disclosing the truth may be healthy and most often will not harm anyone, but there are times a thoughtless honesty can be very devastating to a relationship. We must always remember that true honesty should not be delayed. It is just like an icicle; once it thaws that is the end of it. It becomes an old sin. Confession of old sins may free the burden of guilty conscience and may bring a self-upright feeling but it is comparable to throwing up on someone. It may make the confessor feels good but it does not do much for the recipient, it hurts to the bone. It is often times like a painkiller that gives a temporary sedation than a solution. Sometimes honesty can be very self-centered thing, some people use honesty as a way to thump people under the outfit of a good person.

I believe one should have to confess to God before anyone else and makes recompenses to the hurt party. A person has all the rights to be honest about his belief and intentions but he must not disregard his responsibilities not to offend anyone .It is not reasonable to liberate ones self just to get the load off the chest. Hardly ever ,people would think that lying is the best for any situation but clearly I realized that both telling a lie, and the truth has what it takes of causing harm. I also realized that honesty is not the highest value in the Christian life. It is not the best policy either. People may argue me about this but the highest values for me are love, faith, concern and the best policy is integrity. On my personal interpretation honesty and integrity have key distinctions.

Look what is happening to our politics now, everyone seems to have a piece of truth to say because of self interest and greed. This could happen to any sort of situation or relationship. How can honesty be admirable and commendable if we are not willing to gamble harm to ourselves? Sometimes the reason why people want to tell what they know is exactly to loosen their pain and shift onto somebody else or to attain their selfish motives. Integrity saves the feelings of others by counseling our secrets. It is conviction of a true honest man of what is right and wrong. Integrity is an unselfish virtue... There is evidently always a time to keep silent and say nothing. Even Jesus Christ at one point did not say to his 12 disciples the truths that were beyond their comprehensions. Jesus could have answered the truth to all the charges against him but he kept still and to Pilate's astonishment He just said . . ."no more."

The effort to say the un-embellished truth sometimes boomerang and may lead to a rocky path to a weakened or worst scenario - broken relationship. Though I believe that honesty does not glorify sin nor justify it, it is sometimes the cruelest game. You hurt someone as you seem to feel self righteous about at the same time. How honest should we be?

Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven, confess them to man and you will be laughed at.

By Jessie Landingin

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jessie_Landingin

Read More..

How to Keep a Girl Interested in You - Here Are the Remarkable Tricks Which Work Insanely Well

Girls are fickle minded; they often fail to understand whom they like and whom they don't like. Also they tend to lose their interest quite easily, which isn't a good sign for all you guys. So if you want a girl to take great interest in you, you need to be a real charmer; someone whom girls would always like to be with. Girls often find guys to be very interesting in the first few meetings and then they feel bored; that's their basic nature you see. Though even you guys don't like to stick to just one girl for life, but you like to be surrounded by them all the time, don't you?

Let's see how you can keep a girl interested in you, always.....

Limit Your Availability-

If you are available for your girl all the time, she'll not like you after a month. So try t say no to her even if you are not busy elsewhere. This will generate interest and curiosity as well. She'll be thinking what you are up to and whom you are with. These things can make you more and more interesting. After all, the lesser the better; girls cannot afford to take such guys for granted.

Have It Your Way-

Girls often nag and tend to have things the way they want. But you should also open your mouth instead of abiding by their commands. Do what you like and convince her to do the same as well. If she likes your way of life and entertainment she'll stick to you for long. Be unpredictable at times and she'll be even more interested in you. Guys who are predictable are very boring as well.

Keep Secrets-

While conversing with your girl, try to give interesting twists and turns and don't just speak about everything, keep some secrets to be told later. Keep secrets about your interests, your likings and about something which she would be interested.

By Rahul Talwar

Now listen carefully

What you are about to discover something most men will never know when it comes to attracting women. This is one thing which is an absolute must know for every man out there. You are about to discover an ultimate secret weapon which will make women chase you around like crazy Even If You Are Bald, Fat Or Ugly!.....Trust me....You don't want to miss this one. I strongly urge you to read everything on the next page because it might be the most important message you ever read Click Here

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Rahul_Talwar

Read More..

Jealousy Problems - Don't Let it Drive You Crazy

The emotion of jealousy is very addictive and powerful, so much so that it takes over a person's personality where it can literally destroy a love two people once had together. It is definitely not love, because love's main components are trust, hope, unconditional love as well as a physical, mental and spiritual connection that is very special. Love makes people feel cherished and happy, it does not bring people down.

So when do you classify a person as overly-possessive or jealous bordering on the paranoid? People who have a borderline or acute personality disorder, schizophrenia or bipolar disorder are mostly inclined to feel insecurity and over protectiveness. They exhibit overly dramatic, exaggerated and antisocial behavior and are not in complete command of their emotions.

In a normal and balanced relationship, healthy insecurity and over protectiveness can occur, so they are not a cause for too much concern. But if these traits invade a rational boundary, they inflict tension and place pressure on the partners in the relationship. A partner may turn into from a pleasant easy going person into a rude, controlling individual who can become abusive to the partner, physically or verbally.

How do I decide if my partner is too insecure too possessive that it just does not seem normal? Most people know that if their partner is constantly checking up on them either through numerous phone calls, texting, and so on there is something wrong. When your partner is with you they are constantly questioning you on your activities and where you spent the day.

In some examples, extreme jealousy is practiced through violence as in the case of jealous individuals who can easily express sexually or physically violent towards their partner. Any individual who is in this type of relationship should end the relationship immediately and seek a safe shelter away from the violent individual. No one should have to live in fear in a relationship that is full of jealousy and violence, and this type of relationship is not an expression of love.

If your partner is not violent but they are too possessive, try to discuss the root of the insecurity. Many times controlling behavior and over-possessiveness in a relationship are a learned reaction. Some parents or friends have lived this toxic form of existence, so jealousy feels like a normal and comfortable emotion to express.

If you can get through by communicating with your partner emphasize how important trust is for you in a relationship and that you view it as a sign of love. If this does not work, and your partner is still insecure try setting up an appointment with a relationship or family counselor. Hopefully your partner will want to please you, and work on your relationship to make it more secure and committed.

By Zach Johnsen

Zach Johnsen writes reviews about relationship problems. Read reviews of several step by step courses that explain to you now to revive a troubled relationship. You can make the choice on the best ebook to help save your relationship

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Zach_Johnsen

Read More..

How to Make Your Relationship Last

Having a lasting relationship is something that most people desire in their lives. They would like to know that they have someone that they can count on. Someone that will be there for them and someone to have fun with. Enjoying your partner is a key to building a relationship that lasts.

When you are able to have fun with someone, you will be less likely to want to have petty arguments or to allow the small things in life to break up your bond that you have with your loved one.

MAKE IT A PRIORITY IN YOUR LIFE...

Make it a priority in your life to have a fun and carefree attitude when you are with your loved one. Don't allow the worries and the stresses from your work life or your home life to break the bond that the two of you share. Allow yourself the opportunities to kick back and have a good time together.

A good thing to do is to make it a habit to devote at least one night per week to just enjoying your time together. Preferably you should strive for more than one night, but at least commit to one per week. Have fun and forget your troubles.

Remember that you want to have a relationship that lasts and that should come before the typical and usually small troubles that you go through in your everyday life. Do not allow yourself to lose sight of what is really important. When you can do this, you increase your chances of having a bond that will not break.

By Bryan Appleton

Learn how to attract love, money, or happiness or all three in YOUR LIFE NOW! Go to http://www.successfulfather.com and SIGN up for the FREE newsletter and BOOKMARK the site and return as often as you can!

You can attract the life that you truly desire! All you have to do is learn HOW!

Law of Attraction Secrets

Bryan Appleton is an investor/entrepreneur who has dedicated himself to teaching others how to achieve their dream life. He is also a proud single father with one son

You can publish this article as long as you leave it intact and in full as well as keeping the url link clickable

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bryan_Appleton

Read More..

How to Get Your Ex Back Even If They Don't Want to Talk to You - Do Not Miss This at Any Cost

A breakup is always painful but it can also get frustrating if your ex refuses to talk to you after the breakup. However, all hope is not lost and you can still use these 3 tips on how to get your ex back even if they don't want to talk to you...

Tip No.1 - Let your ex calm down. Instead of desperately trying to soothe tempers, let time do the work for you. Do not contact your ex for a couple of weeks. This will enable your ex to calm down and think logically instead of only emotionally. You and your ex will be able to reflect back to the events that led to the breakup and maybe even come up with solutions.

Tip No. 2 - Change into a hot new body and cool attitude. Even as you allow your ex to cool down, ensure that you run to the nearest salon and spa and get yourself a much needed relaxation package. Open up those clogged pores and open up your mind to get a well-toned body, a new haircut and a calm mind. This new look will not go un-noticed by your ex who might just start regretting his/her decision of breaking up with you.

Tip No. 3 - Write. To further calm down frayed nerves, write a SMS, email or a good old letter to your ex. This will allow you to express your feelings without any angry interruptions and will also allow your cooled-down ex to read your thoughts in a more controlled manner. Writing will help you bare your soul and your ex will get to know your true feelings without any emotional outbursts. Apologize if you feel that you have wronged your ex in any way.

These 3 tips are sure to get your ex back into talking mode and once you two get talking, then it is just a matter of time before you both decide to get back into your lost relationship.

By Rahul Talwar

Pay Close Attention Here-

Now listen carefully! Take 2 minutes to read the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick which will have your ex begging you to take them back. There is a set of easy to follow psychological tricks which will make your ex crawl back to you within a few days guaranteed. I strongly urge you to read everything on the next page before it's too late and time runs out- Click Here

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Rahul_Talwar

Read More..

Understanding Women in Relationships - 5 Tips

I know you girls will be reading this even though this is directed towards the guys in your life; it's okay. Many years ago I saw the movie called The Gods Must Be Crazy. One man was giving advice to another. The recipient of the advice said, "You've been married seven times how can you give advice?"

He said, "I know all about them; but nobody knows how to live with them..." Well that was a pretty cute and funny line in the movie but unfortunately a lot of people feel that way. Of course on the other side of the coin the ladies say the same thing about the men. Well I say that kind of talk and joking will definitely not lead to a happy relationship. That's the kind of stuff you have to get out of your head. Even if it sounds funny at first it establishes a subconscious idea in your mind that will allow you to blame your spouse or significant other rather than look at your own behavior in a particular situation.

It really isn't that hard to understand women in relationships if you understand the biology and psycho-physiological drives that create the desires and needs within them. For purposes of this short and hopefully useful article allow me to at least eradicate the negative attitudes.

Here are 5 Tips:

1) Appreciate women for whom and what they are. They are not men and don't want to be.

2) Tell them you appreciate them.

3) Women want to look beautiful for you. Acknowledge their efforts and tell them they are beautiful.

4) A woman's heart gives love unconditionally. Reciprocate by telling them you love them.

5) A woman's eyes see the best of you. Be your best at all times.

Women want to love their man and show it through loyalty, trust, support and nurturing. One of the biggest mistakes men make in relationships is they have an expectation that their woman will be like one of the guys over time. It's not really what you want anyway. So don't make that mistake. Remember to tell the woman of your dreams, "I love you."

By Paul W. Friedman

Paul Friedman, author of http://www.lessonsforahappymarriage.com, entered into the business of helping couples mend their marriages after a very rough personal experience with divorce. Paul came out of an early retirement to become a mediator. His belief was that couples could easily work out the details of separation and get on with their lives. He discovered the truth from his clients: they only sought divorce because the help they found to stay together didn't work. Read more on Paul Friedman's blog: http://www.lessonsforahappymarriage.com/relationship-advice-blog.html

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Paul_W._Friedman

Read More..

Is Your Relationship in Danger? Take This 10 Question Quiz to Find Out

You have the occasional argument. Sometimes you feel frustrated, and you have that uneasy sense that everything is not as it should be. Is your relationship in trouble? The answer may not be obvious. Take this quiz to measure the overall state of your relationship and highlight the trouble spots.

1. When you have an argument, is it about a specific issue, or is it about your partner's character? A specific issue would be, "You forgot to take out the garbage last night," while "you never remember anything," is a generalized character assassination.

2. Do you have more conflict or less conflict when the two of you get time alone together? Do a "date night" or a few days away renew your relationship, or create more stress?

3. Is there physical violence in your relationship? Have you come close to physical violence? Are there threats of physical violence?

4. How often does the thought that you would rather be with someone else pass through your mind?

5. Take one minute to write a list of what you like and what you dislike about your partner. How many "likes" and how many "dislikes" are on your list?

6. Do you seriously question your partner's faithfulness?

7. Do you have arguments about sex?

8. In times of emergency or grief - such as when a relative becomes ill or dies, do you and your partner pull together?

9. If you could turn the clock back to the day you first met your partner, would you choose a different direction for your life?

10. If you won the lottery, would you be overjoyed to share the blessing with your partner, or would you wish it were all yours?

Physical violence or threats are the biggest danger signs for your relationship and for your personal safety. If they are present, get professional help TODAY.

The following are all danger signs for your relationship. If several are present, your relationship is in real trouble:

• character assassination

• fantasizing often about being with someone else

• not having ready access to a list of your partner's great qualities

• doubts of faithfulness

• serious sexual incompatibility

• lack of mutual support in times of crisis

• a feeling of being stuck or obligated by the relationship

Question #2 offers hope that your relationship may be much sounder than it appears. Conflict in your relationship may be primarily a reflection of the stress in your individual lives.

Often, partners redirect frustration and anger about unrelated events toward each other. For example, your boss yelled at you, and you yell at your partner. This unconscious redirection is a behavior that can be overcome through conscious attention, and is not a reflection on the overall quality of your relationship. If you and your partner are loving and supportive toward each other in relatively stress-free situations, you likely have a basis for working through your other issues.

By Jonathan Huie

Sign-Up for Jonathan's Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote email, and read his article: 7 Secrets for a Happy Life

Jonathan Lockwood Huie is an author of self-awareness books and free inspirational email publications. He has been dubbed "The Philosopher of Happiness" by those closest to him, in recognition of his on-going commitment to seeing Joy in all of life

** Today is your day to dance lightly with life. It really is. - Jonathan Lockwood Huie **

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jonathan_Huie

Read More..

Partners With Pathology - 7 Signs That Your Partner Has a Personality Disorder

Everyone experiences challenges and misunderstandings in their relationships. However, if your partner is pathological and afflicted with a personality disorder, a relationship can become a bewildering minefield without an apparent reason. This is because individuals with personality disorders, which include narcissism, sociopathy/psychopathy, and borderline personality disorder, are wired very differently than the rest of us. Fundamental assumptions about the way people react to situations and their standards of conduct simply can't be applied to a partner with a personality disorder, and these individuals frequently engage in behavior that is very destructive to their personal relationships. Here are 7 signs that your partner may be suffering from a personality disorder:

1. Grandiose sense of self worth. Your partner may express or believe that he or she is superior to others, and should only associate with other high status and "special" people and institutions. Your partner may also exaggerate accomplishments and expect preferential treatment.

2. Lack of empathy. Your partner may not be able to relate to or identify with the emotions of others. Your partner may make an attempt to appear to feel for others, but it is simply play acting and eventually the act will start to ring hollow.

3. Lack of remorse or guilt. Your partner may do destructive and hurtful things, but not really be able to experience remorse for his or her actions. Again, your partner may express guilt, but it is false and hollow and this becomes apparent over time.

4. Lack of impulse control. Your partner may be unable to delay gratification. He or she may also have a tendency toward boredom that leads to high risk behaviors. This may contribute to compulsive activities such as drug use and sexual exploitation, and even violence.

5. Inability to follow through on commitments. Your partner may have difficulty managing a job, bills, marital commitments, and a variety of responsibilities.

6. Compulsive lying and manipulation. Your partner may lie about a great many things, large and small, significant and insignificant, sometimes without apparent reason. Some individuals with personality disorders are the classic "con men" who bilk others out of money rather than earning an honest living.

7. Extreme black and white thinking. You may either be unrealistically idealized or devalued in the mind of your partner. There is often a sense of needing to "walk on eggshells" to avoid upsetting your partner.

By Shannon E Cook

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal growth and relationship expert who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shannon_E_Cook

Read More..

The Toxic Relationship - 6 Signs Your Relationship May Be Toxic

Relationships require work and dedication to thrive and be healthy. However, there are dynamics in certain relationships that make them destructive and toxic to one or even both partners. The way your partner relates to you psychologically and emotionally can have a large bearing on your self esteem and feelings of self worth. Here are 6 signs that your relationship may have an emotionally or psychologically abusive dynamic and may be toxic for this reason:

1. Your partner puts you down, either in public or privately. These insults may be blatant name calling, but not always. Sometimes, it is more subtle, for example your partner may criticize the way you do things, who you are, or even question your mental competence. All the while, your partner may imply that he or she has it all together and knows the best ways to do the things you are failing at. Ultimately, you may end up feeling incompetent, inferior, and even crazy.

2. Your partner attempts to limit your access to work or educational opportunities. This strategy helps maintain your partner's control over you and keep you dependent.

3. Your partner attempts to discourage or limit your contact with outside friends and family. Isolating you in this way serves a couple of different purposes. Firstly, it establishes your partner's dominance and control. It also limits your ability to receive positive, affirming messages from your loved ones. Your abuser is trying to create a reality about you and for you. Having contrary information coming in is undesirable in the abuser's eyes. In addition, limiting your contact with others also reduces your opportunities to hear criticisms of your partner.

4. Your partner attempt to control and influence your daily activities. You may feel compelled to give an account of your daily activities and defend or justify your choices. You may even get to a point where in order to avoid confrontation, you choose activities you know your partner will approve of.

5. Your partner uses sex as a weapon of manipulation and control. This may be demonstrated in your partner's demand that you comply with his or her demand for sex and intimacy, regardless of your feelings or desires. This may also manifest in the opposite manner, where your partner deliberately withholds the physical affection and intimacy you desire, in order to keep you feeling rejected, worthless, and subject to his or her whim.

6. Your partner implies that there will be non-physical consequences for not complying with his or her demands. Once in awhile, your partner may do something kind for you, but this is not a true effort to change a pattern of behavior, but a tactic to draw you back into the relationship. Once you are back under your abuser's control, the emotional and psychological abuse will begin again.

By Shannon E Cook

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal growth and relationship expert who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shannon_E_Cook

Read More..

Top 12 Things Men Really Hate Most About Women

Women, did you know there are 12 things that you do that man tend to hate most of all? It's true these things that women either know or don't know that they do. What are these 12 things that women should avoid? They are:

1. Not Sticking to Agreements

When agreements are made, women tend to break them or change them to suit their needs, no matter what the situation is.

2. Keeping Their Feelings

It's stereotypical to believe women share automatically how they are feeling. Actually, women will hold in their feelings until they are asked often enough that they spill what is on their minds.

3. Try to Change Their Men

Women often understand men but don't agree with the way they are. Women try to change them to suit their needs or leave them alone completely.

4. Mate Comparison

Women, sometimes unknowingly, compare their current mate to their ex in terms of negative aspects. Comparisons should be made when it's favorable.

5. Belittling His Hobbies

Everyone has a hobby or two that their mate doesn't like. However, you should never keep them from doing it. Also, never demand that they take an interest in your hobby. The message you send is that your hobbies are much more important than is and that's not the message you should be sending.

6. Gossiping

While it would seem to stroke the man's ego, men don't like women gossiping about them, whether it's good or bad. It doesn't matter.

7. Nagging

Men do not like it when a woman constantly nags them about getting things done whether or not it's with good intentions.

8. Interruption

Believe it or not, a man needs to talk to so it's best you listen with an open mind and not try to interrupt. Men do not like it when a woman listens but looks impatient to talk too. If you interrupt him with something else not relevant to the current conversation, you could create tension between the both of you.

9. Solution Oriented vs. Conversation Oriented

Men like to get to the bottom of things so don't get upset if they don't want to talk for hours about a particular subject.

10. Beauty Conscious

Men do not like it when a woman spends a lot of time looking at herself in the mirror but still looks the same as she always does.

11. Paranoia

Men don't like it when a woman gets paranoid about the way she looks. If your man doesn't like the way you look, they wouldn't be with you.

12. Insecure/Jealously

Believe it or not, men do not like jealousy, even a small bit. This is especially true if you are out on a date together and catch their eye wander. You make a wise crack about it. This actually annoys them very much.

If you don't want to drive your man up the wall, then stay away from these 12 blundering mistakes and work on more positive outlet to keep your man.

By Teecee Go

You have the power within you to make a man fall in love with you Don't leave your future to fate or wait for him to find you. Find out the love strategies on how to make a man desire you more and deeper. You will feel much more confident when you visit How to Make Men Fall in Love

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Teecee_Go

Read More..

Do You Want a Relationship Or an Adventure?

The guy knocks you out when you just look at him, you want him to notice you, smile and invite you to have a cup of coffee together. In the end you have a date, another one and so on. You can't believe he doesn't make any moves, he doesn't kiss you, he does not take your hand into his, he says nothing about moving forward.

You think at 2 possibilities: he is either shy or gay. In the end you discover this man likes you but he does not want a serious relationship, he does not want to cause you pain, so he tells you the truth. The reason is Ok but you feel hurt.

You try to think this is better for you, but deep down you are convinced you need him to be by your side, you want hugs not only sex once a week. You know you want the whole package and hope he will change his mind. Your last relationship was so passionate, of course you do not want to think about it and make comparisons but you want this relationship to be even better. The more he rejects the whole package, the more you want it.

What are in fact the advantages and disadvantages of an adventure?

A great advantage is that you will not be in the position to get bored of him; he will not pressure or impose anything to you. He will not be ''the master'' and there will be no reproaches. Maybe, in the end, you will like this, just have fun and leave without preparing breakfast or washing dishes.

Disadvantages are not so many or overwhelming. You may feel used because he wants you for sex only and when you are together you behave not like a couple but like strangers. He will not stand by you to wipe your tears, to share lovely moments, you will be alone on vacations or holidays. You will probably pity yourself and regret what you did. There is also the risk to fall in love with him and then the ending-up can be ugly. Especially if you tell him this and he will abandon you, there can be feelings of being ''seduced and dumped''.

In the end we are all free to choose what we like, only that before each step we need to consider consequences, analyze advantages and disadvantages and think of our own life.

By Marius Gherghinescu

For more information, simply visit http://www.findsinglesonline.net/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Marius_Gherghinescu

Read More..